Rent: Law and Order
by HowStellaGotHerMojoBack
Summary: The gang of bohemians, plus a new-comer, living their lives as cops. Solving crimes, busting the bad guys, driving around like the idiots they are in cop cars, and sometimes even starting more trouble than the criminals themselves. Canon couples. Enjoy!
1. Chapter One: New Cops at the NYPD

" This year at the NYPD, we're going to do something a little different when it comes to partnering. You guys are going to choose your own partners, since so many officers we've had here have had problems with their partners."

" Yay! I get to be with Pookie!" Maureen exclaimed, and wrapped her arms around Joanne in a bone-crushing hug and kissed her cheek loudly so the whole police station could hear the _schmack._

Joanne smiled as Maureen barely gave her space to breathe due to the hug she was trapped in right then… but Joanne never minded being in Maureen's strong, protective arms.

Angel glanced at Collins, and smirked. " Partners?" Angel asked hopefully and Collins smiled a big, goofy grin. Collins held out his hand for Angel.

" Well, of course, dear," Collins said, and Angel took his hand, kissing his cheek.

Mimi and Roger looked at each other, but before either of them could speak, Mark interrupted. " You're not really going to leave me with Benny, right?"

" Hey!" Benny exclaimed, offended.

" Sorry, Benny, but you're not exactly the kindest person," Mark said sarcastically, and then turned back to Roger. " Roger?"

" There is no way Benny and Mimi are gonna be partners," Roger said, wrapping an arm around Mimi. " Sorry, Marky."

Mark grunted, and looked back at Benny. " I guess we're partners, then."

Benny shrugged.

" Okay, so partners are settled?" the captain asked.

Everyone nodded.

" Okay, then. Get into your uniforms, and your day on the field begins!"

Maureen squealed, and pulled Joanne into the only bathroom, that was supposed to be only for one person.

_Fifteen minutes later…_

" Are they seriously having sex in the only bathroom?" Roger asked, angry that he had been standing for the past fifteen minutes.

" Sounds like it," Collins said, listening to Maureen and Joanne's moans from the bathroom.

" Oh my god!" Roger exclaimed, and turned around, resting his head on the wall in a helpless manner.

" Well, we're gonna be here for a while," Mark said, sliding down the wall and sitting on the floor.

" Shut up, Mark, you're already dressed!" Roger said, and Make our his hands up in defense.

" Why don't we just tell them to come out?" Benny asked.

Everyone eyed Benny. " If you hadn't married Alison Grey and became a fancy dickhead, and actually spent time with your friends, you would know that nothing will ever stop those two from screwing," Roger spat coldly.

Benny put his hands in the air in defense. " Chill, it was just a question."

Roger sighed. " Sorry, but this is outrageous!"

" You know what's _really _outrageous?" Mimi asked. " How there is only one bathroom in this police station."

Everyone agreed. Roger spoke up. " Let's get Maureen to arrange a protest for another bathroom here."

Everyone but Mimi cheered. " Guys, calm down, we _just _got these jobs after two years of college and one year of the cop academy. Let's not ruin this for ourselves."

Everyone shrugged.

There was a silence, except of course for Maureen and Joanne's moans.

Finally, the moaning stopped, and everyone looked up. Roger's face lit up. " Do you think they are actually getting their uniform on now?"

" Let's hope so," Collins said.

Again, no more noise for about five more minutes.

" Then whats taking so long if they're not effing?" Roger asked.

" Don't jinx it, genius!" Collins said, slapping Roger on the arm.

Roger rubbed his arm, and tried to look at it. He slightly pouted. " Ow."

Mimi smirked, and kissed Roger's cheek. Suddenly, the bathroom door opened and revealed Maureen in her police uniform, Joanne behind her. Maureen began talking in a deep voice. " This is strip show. Prepared to be wowed," Maureen said, and burst open the top two buttons of her shirt. Joanne and everyone else rolled her eyes, and Joanne fixed Maureen's buttons.

Roger sighed happily, and pushed through everyone to get it the bathroom, Mimi's hand in his. " Finally! You and Jo couldn't wait until you got home to fool around?"

" Maybe we could've… but we didn't," Maureen said with a giggle, and grabbed Joanne's ass.

" Unbelievable how we just waited twenty minutes for you guys to stop effing," Benny said.

" Shut up, Benny. No one wants you here," Maureen spat.

Benny rolled his eyes. " So rude. But what else could I expect from the queen of indescencency?"

" Getting punched in the fucking face!" Maureen exclaimed.

Joanne pulled Maureen away before she got worked up, and rubbed her hands up and down Maureen's biceps. " Leave it like that, babe."

Benny went to say something, but Collins stopped him. " Shut up, man."

Benny backed off, and Maureen glared at him.

" You two really need to settle a truce," Mark said. " We're all friends here, you guys are the only ones who don't like each other."

" For good reason," Maureen said. " He was the reason why my protest turned into a fucking riot!"

" You're still angry about that? Maureen, that protest was irrelevant!" Benny said.

" You're irrelevant!" Maureen exclaimed, and slapped Benny across the face.

Benny only clenched his jaw and held his cheek.

" Oh… shit," Collins said, covering his mouth slightly.

" Guys! Stop!" Mark said.

" Yeah, violence isn't the answer!" Angel agreed.

" Maureen is the only violent one," Benny said. " She slapped me."

" Because you said my protest is irrelevant, when really, the only irrelevant thing that any of us has done is become friends with you!" Maureen said.

Benny's face slightly fell.

" Maureen… you went too far," Joanne whispered.

" You know what? If the only reason I'm gonna be here is to be disrespected and mistreated, then I'm leaving," Benny said, and stormed off.

" Oh, great! Now I don't have a partner and Benny is gonna begin screwing with us for rent again!" Mark said.

" Get a job, and then you could pay for your damn rent that you never stop complaining about!" Maureen said.

" I do have a job! This is all of our jobs!" Mark said.

" Okay, there you go. Anyway, why was Benny here in the first place? He missed half of the police academy," Maureen said.

" It doesn't matter _why _he was here, but now I don't have a partner," Mark said.

" So then go speak to the captain!" Maureen said, and Mark grunted, walking away.

In the time that Mimi, Roger, Collins, and Angel took to get dressed, Mark had been talking to the captain, returning with a cute girl by his side. She was a red-head with a cute little button nose, and was just a little shorter than Mark.

" Guys, this is my new partner, Ally," Mark introduces the red-head to the group of friends, just as Collins and Angel came out of the bathroom.

" Hi, Ally, nice to meet you! I'm Angel," Angel chirped, holding out his hand for Ally.

Ally smiled cutely, and shook Angel's hand. She greeted everyone else.

" You see, Mark? Better than Benny, right?… a lot better…" Maureen trailed off, checking Ally out which made her blush.

Joanne sucked on her teeth, and covered Maureen's eyes, holding her tight. " Will you _ever _stop checking people out, and only keep your eyes on me?"

"Let's make a deal. When you stop getting jealous, I'll stop checking people out," Maureen said.

" Well, I wouldn't have to get jealous if you stopped being so flirtatious in the first place."

" Yeah, but, the next time I check someone else out, I want you to look me straight in the eyes, and tell me you're not jealous, and then I'll stop. For real," Maureen said.

" For real?" Joanne asked.

" Yup," Maureen nodded.

" Okay… easy-peasy," Joanne said, and Maureen smirked.

" New-comers? Listen up!" a deep voice said, and everyone turned to see the captain towering over them all. " We've decided to send all eight of you out on a mission, to test your perseverance, and see if two years worth of training did anything to your pea-sized brains."

" Valedictorian for nothing," Joanne muttered, and the gang chuckled.

" Okay, so every pair of partners get their own car. Joey here, will bring you to the parking lot," the captain said, pointing to a man standing next to him who waved. " Oh, and hey, millennials; don't crash any of my cars."

With that, the captain walked away, and Joey led the gang plus Ally to the parking lot.

" Bye, see you guys!" Maureen yelled, waving at the her friends.

Everyone waved in return and Joanne and her got in their car.

" Buckle up, honey. This is our first ride as cops!"Joanne exclaimed, and Maureen cheered, kissing Joanne's cheek before putting on her seatbelt.

In Angel and Collins's car, the both buckled up. Collins looked at Angel. " Ready, honey?"

" Ready as I can be," Angel said, and Collins smiled, pecking Angel in the lips.

Over in Roger and Mimi's car, Roge went to get in the driver's seat, but Mimi stopped him. " Excuse you? Who said you would be driving?"

" I just—"

" Oh, just because you're a guy, huh?" Mimi said.

" What, no, I—"

" I didn't know my boyfriend was a sexist asshole!"

" What, Mimi?! I didn't say anythi—"

" I'm just kidding, honey! Driving is too much work anyway!" Mimi chirped with a giggle and kissed Roger's seat, running around the car to get in the passenger's.

Roger shocked his head in confusion. " Women are so confusing."

Last but not least, at the end of the line of cars, Mark and Ally sat in their car.

" Do you wanna drive?" Mark asked.

" No, do you not want to?" Ally asked.

" No, I'm fine with driving, but I was just asking," Mark said.

" Oh… um, no, I'm good. But thanks for asking… that was sweet of you," Ally said.

Mark blushed. " Thanks."

Every pair drove off, and began their mission.


	2. Chapter Two: Just Driving Around

" Ooh, what is this?" Maureen asked, taking her walkie-talkie out of its place in her belt, and pressing a whole bunch of buttons.

" Don't break it, honeybear, what if you need it?" Joanne said, glancing at Maureen while she drove around.

They didn't exactly know where to go, but Joanne had just put out the idea that they would look for crimes happening around the area while they waited to see if the captain would send them a message or something.

" I won't break it by pushing the buttons," Maureen said. She held down a button, and spoke into the walkie-talkie. " Hello? Anyone there?"

Collins's voice came back through the walkie-talkie. " Hello? Mo? Is that you?"

" Yeah, it's me. Where are you guys?" Maureen asked in the walkie-talkie.

" We're on forty-second street, stuck in traffic… move it, you asshole!" Collins yelled at someone else.

" Collins, calm down, honey," Maureen and Joanne heard Angel's relaxed voice say.

" Ugh, I hate driving in New York City… you stick that finger out one more time, I'm gonna arrest you, you moronic imbecile!" Collins yelled some more with twice the anger.

" It's sexy when you insult people with fancy words," Angel's voice was heard, and Maureen raised her eyebrows.

" I think that's my cue to leave… bye you two," Maureen said, and stopped holding down the button.

" Hello? Hello?! HELLO!" Mimi's voice was heard through the walkie-talkie.

" That's not how you do it, Mimi," Roger's voice said.

" Stop trying to mansplain to me how to contact our friends through this stupid piece of shit," Mimi snapped.

" Damn! Yes, you tell him, girl!" Maureen shouted.

" Honeybear, please, we are in a car. There is no reason to yell," Joanne said, placing a hand on Maureen's bicep to relax her.

" What if _I _make _you _yell?" Maureen asked flirtatiously, wiggling her eyebrows.

Joanne blushed. " Mo, please."

Maureen chuckled. " That's what you said last night."

" Oh! HAHA!" Collins yelled through the walkie-talkie.

" Hot!" Mimi yelled as well.

Joanne shook her head, and put her complete focus on driving again.

" So, where is the straight couple right now?" Maureen asked.

" Do you have to call us that? It makes me feel left out," Mimi whined.

" Hey, if you want quits on the whole 'being straight' thing, just visit me," Maureen flirted with Mimi.

" Maureen! I'm gonna throw that thing out the window!" Joanne said, annoyance evident in her voice.

" No, no, I'm sorry!" Maureen said, her hands in the air as a surrender. Joanne shot her a glare, and Maureen rolled her eyes. " So boring."

" So slutty," Joanne said with a playful smile.

Maureen's face fell. She stared at Joanne for a few seconds before looking straight ahead again, a hurt and angry expression on her face. " Nice to know what you really think of me."

Joanne glanced at Maureen. " Baby, I was just kidding—"

Joanne tried to place her hand on Maureen's arm but Maureen roughly shoved it away.

" Maureen, I was just playing around!" Joanne exclaimed.

" Fuck you," Maureen stated and Joanne went silent.

" Everything okay, lesbians?" Collins asked through the walkie-talkie.

" Totally, gays."

" So… updates from the two straight people who _are not _dating…yet?" Collins asked, referring to Mark and Ally.

Mark huffed at the 'yet'. " Not really. We're driving around Queens, but we're close to the Queensboro Bridge so we could drive back to the city if anything," Mark replied.

" Cool, cool," Collins said. " Ally? How's albino pumpkin head treating 'ya?"

" Great… he's really quiet," Ally replied.

" He acts stupid around pretty girls," Collins explained and Mark blushed.

" Collins!" Mark exclaimed, and stayed silent after that.

" Mark probably looks like a tomato right now," Mimi commented, and the whole gang laughed.

" You guys are fucking weird. Why did I hire you?" the captain's voice suddenly came through the walkie-talkie. " I'm trying to work and you won't shut the fuck up!"

No response.

" Okay, meet at Chipotle on 44th," the captain stated.

" Chipotle?" Angel and Mimi asked at the same time, and then their giggles were heard.

" Yes, Chipotle," the captain said, and there was a silence. " I'm hungry… be there in max twenty minutes."

" Yes, captain," they all said in unison.


End file.
